I'm gonna keep on dancing at the pink pony club
Just having fun, on the Substack stage in my metaphorical heels
I added an extra kilometre onto my walk into work this morning to avoid what I thought was a sketchy looking character. Now, I generally try my best to give people the benefit of the doubt and not think everyone is out to get me. But I find it hard to ignore my gut feelings in certain contexts.
My walk takes me through a large parkland. The windy wintry weather meant there were fewer people around today than usual. As I was approaching a pedestrian tunnel under the railway line, I saw a man ahead of me. There was just something about his body language that felt off. Strange gait and unusually slow pace. Unpredictable. I held back for a bit to see if any other pedestrians were coming along but there was no one. So I decided to loop back and take an alternate route.
Maybe I was being neurotic. It doesn’t really matter and I don’t really care. The bonus of this decision was it gave me extra time to listen to the Chappell Roan album.
I’ll be the first to admit that my appetite for new music seemed to have died off around 2005, so I’m extremely late onto the Chappell Roan bandwagon. But I’m there now. And I’m loving it.
wrote a great reflection on why her music strikes such a chord here - Running with Chappell Roan.
One song that would’ve been cut off if it wasn’t for my longer walk was Pink Pony Club. Here’s an excerpt:
Won't make my mama proud
It's gonna cause a scene
She sees her baby girl
I know she's gonna scream
God, what have you done
You're a pink pony girl
And you dance at the club
Oh mama, I'm just having fun
On the stage in my heels
It's where I belong down at the
Pink Pony Club
I'm gonna keep on dancing at the
Pink Pony Club
Why did this stick out to me so much this morning? I’ve never had any desire to be dancing on stage at any kind of club. Or even be in the vicinity of such a place, if I’m honest. But I have held myself back from pursuing things that would bring me joy due to anxiety and being afraid of what other people think. On many occasions.
One of the reasons the relationship between anxiety and joy is on currently on my mind is because I watched Inside Out 2 on the weekend. There’s one scene that is a gut punch for any adult paying attention, where Joy says:
I don’t know how to stop anxiety. Maybe we can’t. Maybe this is what happens when you grow up, you feel less joy
(
have you recovered from watching this yet?)And so I find myself, still trying to process the movie and the song lyrics, and hyper tuned into all things anxiety and joy. What I’m starting to realise is being here on Substack is an opportunity to push my anxiety aside, and do something just for fun.
I don’t want to sound all gushy and pathetic, but it’s also one of the things I’m finding inspiring about this platform. I get a glimpse of what brings other people joy. People sharing their art, their ideas, their pets, something beautiful that came into their day, some crazy rabbit hole they went down that set their brain on fire and they just have to share…
I’m consistently being reminded to take more notice of the things that bring me joy.
So no, I’m not about to go and get me some go-go boots. But I am gonna keep on doing my thing and have fun with it. I hope you do too.
Barely 😉